Misogyny Crisis — Wait, what?

Since I was in junior high school, I always have few of female friends and so many of male (best) friends. The reason?

Girls are so much drama!

Is there anyone think the same with me?

I believe there is some female who has same thoughts as me.

Recently, I just read a very interesting article posted by Everyday Feminism. For those who did not know about this website, please go check their website here. Just like the name, it talks all about feminism, women empowerment and other queer-talks!

So, they published an article which very enlightened me about what is it called misogyny and internalised misogyny. Okay, first I would like to explain what is misogyny. According to the Urban Dictionary, misogyny is:

(1)…to hate women, think less of them or show distrust, solely based on their gender.
(2) A word modern feminists have hijacked so they can ignore any form of evidence, facts or logic that doesn’t push their misogynistic, misandry agenda.

In short word, it means a prejudice against women. The act of comparing a girl with other girls and/or boys also one of the examples.

Wait, what?

Yes, I had a (big) mistake when I said being a friend with ‘girls are so much drama’ because it is one of the common phrases which I directly involved in promoting and demonstrating the term of internalised misogyny. Why?

“When it comes to women who believe they are inferior to men, that’s we called internalised misogyny

It makes me realised that every word we’ve said and about to say, we have to think it carefully first, but it should not be a barrier for us to express our opinion and expression. This ‘new term’ make me realised that internalised misogyny could be and often happened in our daily lives and most of the times we did not understand whether the words that we used is just a mere jokes or truly has the intention to mock that person.

That is why it is important to educate people in general, reading and trying to understand more about problematic things in our daily lives, as well as to heal from this kind of mental ‘illness’.

These are what I read about “4 Common Phrases that Demonstrate Internalised Misogyny” from the articles:

  1. “I am not like other girls” — Surprisingly, this simple phrase preserves the idea which makes the gender stereotypes are true.
  2. “I would rather hang out with boys than girls, girls are so much drama!” — It feels like slapping me hundred times on my face! It has said that phrase reflects a harmful stereotype.
  3. “Unlike other women, I have morals” — Calling all the women who always think they are more pure, faithful, virgin than any other women. Don’t ever judge women by the way she wants to do anything with their body and mind, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your rights.
  4. “Real women …” — Often, the phrase is used to praise women who behave as they’re traditionally expected to behave. It’s used to reinforce the idea that women must be nurturing, well-dressed, and in a monogamous relationship with a man.
Be happy to be like other girls! They are awesome!...loving the red noses! XD
Source: Pinterest

See? Those words are the simple phrases that some of us have said in the past or even until today. We often criticising women who having sex to fulfil their sexual needs (outside marriage) and accused them that they’re immoral simply because of their choices. So for me, it is true rather than criticising women for having sex, we should criticise society for shaming people based on their sexual behaviour.

Read more this article here.

Xoxo – Astrid

What You Really Need to Know About Feminism

It’s very inspiring every time I read some articles or books which talking about feminism, where most of the times people always seems pessimistic when they’re talking about feminism itself. It’s always full of debates when it comes to people who admit themselves as a feminist. Recently, I have read a simple, understandable and first-thing-first you really need to know about feminism when I was reading an article wrote in Magdalene. Where they are trying to explore the ten biggest misconceptions about feminism which you should know.

Here they are:

1. Feminists hate men: This one is the oldest and most tiresome fallacy on feminism. Feminism is a movement and ideology that champions equality for women in political, economic, cultural, personal and social spheres. It has never been an ideology of hate.

2. To achieve equality, feminism must emasculate men: Achieving gender equality does require deconstructing masculinity, but it is not the same as emasculating the male sex. In its hundreds of years of history (even before the word “feminism” was coined) the movement has cultivated a tradition of deep contemplation and rethinking of the social construct of genders as well as gender dynamics. It is supposed to actually improve gender relations, not strengthen one sex at the expense of the other.

3. Feminism only helps women: Feminism doesn’t just liberate women; it also liberates men by breaking down the standards put in place for women and men by the society. Feminism is about changing self-limiting gender roles, sexual norms and sexist practices. Men have the freedom to explore life beyond the rigid boundaries of traditional masculinity. Also feminism believes in equal access to education, which probably enabled your mom to get her university degree and get a job way back then, giving you and your brothers better opportunities in life. With education, women tend to make better life choices, resulting in healthier and more optimally functioning families and communities.

María María Acha-Kutscher illustrates women exercising their voices in political struggles. She says her work focuses on the woman, on “her story, the...:

4. Only women can be feminists: Feminists are committed to addressing daily problems like domestic violence, rape and sexual assaults, unequal pay, sexual objectification, etc. The best way to address these problems is to involve men, raising male employees’ awareness of gender sensitivity, teaching young boys to respect girls, getting fathers to share the housework loads and be more involved in raising their kids, and so many other ways.

5. To be a feminist you must be an atheist: While it’s true that some religions have highly patriarchal perspectives and perpetuate age-old discriminative practices against women, it doesn’t mean there’s no room for improvements. There have been many who bring women-friendly interpretations into religious teachings.

In Indonesia, we have this feminist ulema and this Muslim scholar and a few others. You don’t have to ditch your religion to believe that women are entitled to the same rights as men.

6. Feminists don’t believe in marriage: How silly. A lot of feminists are happily married. As long as a marriage provides personal, legal and social values to the two people involved, there’s no reason to reject the institution of marriage. What feminists are against is when the society values marriage as a “better place” for women, socially punishing those who are not married or divorced, and when a marriage is treated as a way to control women. Also, true feminists believe legal marriage should be allowed for all sexual preferences and gender expressions (yes, we believe in same-sex marriage!).

7. True feminists don’t wear bras and makeup: Rubbish! Feminism is about giving women choices – not limiting them – of self-expression. Can’t go out without your high heels? By all means, wear them. Fancy that little black dress? Why not. But expressing yourself in a traditional expression of femininity is a choice, not an obligation, and it should not define you as a person.  Personally, I like looking good, but I hate to waste too much time and energy on doing it, so I hardly wear make-up, save maybe brow powder and lip-gloss.

8. Feminism is a western concept: To be honest, this has been one of the main self-criticism within the feminist movement in the past: that feminism, the movement and ideology, is Eurocentric and dictated by white middle-class women. It was also criticised for its tendency to overlook class, caste, religion, ethnic bias and racial discrimination that complicate the idea of gender.  However feminism has long existed in non-western part of the world, from South America, Asia to Africa, though with slightly adjusted focuses according to the local contexts.

9. Feminism hasn’t changed for ages: Wrong! The first wave of feminism in the 19th hundred and early 20th centuries focused on civil and political equality, mainly women’s rights to vote. The second wave, which began in the 1960s all through the 1980s, widened the goals to include issues of sexuality, family, the workplace, reproductive rights and other legal inequalities. The third-wave feminists broadened the debates to focus on ideas like queer theory, abolishing gender role expectation and stereotypes. The current awareness in feminism – what is arguably sometimes called the fourth-wave feminism – embraces the idea of “intersectionality”, the multiple, interlocking oppressions of race, sex, sexuality and class. It is a movement and awareness that advocate people to make space for those who are marginalised politically, economically and socially because of their gender, sexual preferences, race and class.

10. There’s no need for feminism now because women are equal to men already: This cannot be more wrong.  Let’s revisit the women’s lib’s demands in the 1970s: The first four of them are equal pay, equal opportunity to education and work, a guarantee of their reproductive rights, and an end to violence or sexual coercion regardless of marital status.

Now let’s look at the facts today: According to a report by the UN’s International Labour Organization, women across the world earn only 77 percent of the amount paid to men, a figure that has improved only three percentage points in the past 20 years.  On top of that, many jobs are still not friendly to mothers, and top leadership posts in companies and governments are still overwhelmingly held by men. Secondly, in many developing countries including Indonesia, the number of girls dropping out of school is higher than boys because they are seen by parents as not worth the economic investment. Third, though contraceptives are widely available now, many countries (Indonesia including) still allow child marriage, which perpetuates domestic violence and poverty. Fourth, rape culture is actually thriving both in developed and developing countries alike. In countries like Indonesia, the law and law enforcers on sex violence cases are hardly on women’s side.

In connection to this, I will also show you the remake of Spice Girls video clip which promotes about the gender equality in SDGs as one of UN campaign specifically for women:

#WhatIreallyreallywant

Read more the original article here.