Why your skins look so pale? Why you look even fatter than last month? Why your skin looks even darker than usual? Why, why, why…
I bet you all heard this kind of ‘illness’ conversation once in your life. Most of the times, in here we are getting used to starting a conversation with ‘Kok kamu gendutan sih? Kok kamu kurusan sih? Kok kamu kelihatan gendut di foto? Kok, kok, kok…’ instead of hearing people ask you with ‘How are you? How is your work? How is your family? etc’.
Why I said this conversation is ‘illness’? Because that conversations will leads to another problem of that person, which you may not or will never understand the reason.
And it’s absolutely body-shaming.
Body shaming is the act or practice of humiliating someone based on their body type by making critical and/or mocking statements about their body shape, size, etc. A lot of media has framed the ideal picture of a woman is the one who has a sexy body, white skin and long hair. And, sorry to say, there are many social media platforms through its public comments also highly contribute the act of bullying and body shaming individuals for their appearance. Am I wrong, if I said that currently, media has contributed how we define a woman looking beautiful? And how our culture actually really love those thin and white women, which we can see it in print ads, video, movie, magazine, etc.
In our society, that kind of acts has been rooted since long time ago, it’s even has become the usual or common thing which done by closest friends who is shaming their friends like that. They think it’s fine to do body-shaming like that with their friends as an act that we-so-called-being-honest, but the fact, it is still considered not cool. At all.
Here is why I, you and we HAVE TO STOP body shaming:
- FYI, it’s not cool at all: Let me know is there a good thing that comes out of putting someone else down? By calling they are fat, too skinny, too many acne or any other negative things, it only creates hostility between you and other people around you. Me, myself never heard that bullying will solve any issues, no never. Not even to invites people to change their lifestyle so they will look perfect as you want. If you want to advise someone or your friend about their health, tell them by express your concerns without using that disgusting words. And nah, not in a social media.
- It can lead to their psychologies: People is different, how we look at people are different too! We never know someone that we bullying, may have a very sad story in their life. They may have such difficult times, to fight and reach life that they want. For someone with low self-esteem by listening how fat or skinny they are could make a very bad impact on their psychologies. They will think that they are not good enough to be with a handsome boy or beautiful girls because they think, they’re just physically not good enough. It also leads to hate. Hate about people which said that they’re ugly or at worst, hating themselves.
- Impact of their eating disorders: it also includes their eating disorders impact, such as; anorexia, bulimia, etc. In the Western world, anorexia is a very very serious problem. It is also highest mortality rate of mental illness in the world. I’ve ever watched a Netflix movie “To the Bone” with Lily Collins as the main actress. The movie was trying to show how is it like to live with anorexia nervosa and how they really struggling to face it. From that movie, I suddenly realized how is actually feel difficult to be like them. There are people who really want to be skinny so that they try so many diets tricks, but the other even have to fight and struggle to get their normal weight. But there is also another people who simply just want to continue their life, without having to think about what people said about them. I really love Demi Lovato and Ashley Graham, they are two of inspiring women for me. Demi is only one of the hundreds of actresses who has struggled with her bulimia and eating disorders for years. It must be hard for her to recovery from eating disorders. And Ashley… she just perfectly beautiful for me. As a body activist, she wants to empower women to fight with their body insecurity and how to love their own body. And I really love how she can be very confident with herself and showing that self-acceptance is way more important.
- Adding more enemies: if you really want to have and make some friends with people, just simply stop body-shaming them. We have enough problem in this world, just stop being controlling and telling people why and how they should live their lives. Stop give comments about what people look alike on their vlogs, stop hating people just by their looks without you really know about them, it is just not your job to scrutinize them.
- Stop ruins someone’s life: you really never know how someone who has low self-esteem can live their life, right? Making them feel that they just not worth in this world, also can be very dangerous. Dealing with this negativity is very tiring, we all know it. We never know how vulnerable they are. Lot of news I heard, girls committing suicide just simply they got bullied for being fat, skinny, or their sexual orientation is different. So stop ruining someone’s life!
- Increasing insecurity, decreasing self-esteem: I probably one of the hundreds of girls who sometimes still have low self-esteem, even from outside I look very ignorant. And I also have this insecurity feeling about everything, including about what people say and think about me. I always have the feeling that maybe I am the one who just too overthinking because I still experience it even until now. But seriously, being bullied by people around you will definitely contribute to this.
- What you plant now, you will harvest later: if you plant negativity, then that’s what you will get in return, vice versa. So stop body shaming and bullying, we just don’t want if this will contribute to our next generations. Love yourself first, before love other people.
Keep your self-love, self-acceptance and always be confident of what you look like with all our diverse shapes and colours, will make us fight back against bodies image on the media. Watch this short video, which still relatable with this post.